( love,why me?)
By chidinma jerry.
I have a big ritual today..I can’t concentrate, all I think about is samrhat..my heart is falling in love with samrhat.I am making a mistake how do i stop this,i can’t live in the temple with such unclean desires and thoughts
I hastily rushed over and knelt down close to the goddess
” Dear goddess,help me stop this desires,my heart is falling in love with a man..my heart might become unclean to stay in the same house with you.
All think about is samrhat,I want to know how he is doing, I want to tell him to take me away, I want him to take me away from this eternal service.
I want samrhat so badly,i never felt this way before.it would have been better if samrhat loved me too right.but he doesn’t his heart is blank…he doesn’t want to love again and i don’t know why.I belong in this temple I just want you to help me,help me stop loving samrhat Singh malhotra.
I was getting dressed for my ritual when a woman walked in with my grandmother and my auntie. Nuni is not my grandma,she’s the one who trained me in the temple as well ma’am priya but she’s mean…this is my aunt..I was told she’s my mother’s sister but she always travelled.
“Shreya this your mother”my aunt said
I looked at the pretty woman
” am your mother shreya,its me danvi”she said..she was shedding tears.
She looked like me,exactly like me..it’s my mum.
I wiped my tears
“So what,why are you here?
I don’t need you.”I said
“Shreya I came to take you away, we have a home.. you don’t need to be a worshipper again my love.tommorow is your 20th birthday ritual shreya do you really want this?”she said.
“No, but i prefer this life to staying with you. look how pretty you are, but you left me here to die..u left me on the streets..why”I said crying
She knelt down
“Am sorry..I was a teenager,I didn’t know what I was doing but am here now and I really want to take u away baby”She said.
Why is my spirit saying she’s lying.
She Still looks like a kid..she looks so young and expensive
“Am a teenager too mum and i know what I want;it’s not you.”I said
“Who? samrhat?”she asked
“What!” I said.
“Are u waiting for him to take you away as a bride? But u only have today baby and samrhat is not here, samrhat doesn’t have feelings for u, samrhat doesn’t know about your rutual tommorrow, u didn’t even beg him to marry u so he can’t do it..not even out of pity.”she said.
“I Wil rather die in service than go with you”I said.
I rushed into the temple.
Shreya left and the pain all nachari did came back; hitting on my heart.
Nachari ruined my heart with what she did..I will never forgive her.
I miss shreya now …she was a crazy friend but I rather be alone. nachari is all my heart keeps videoing.
My phone rang
“Hello sir”my secretary said
“Tell me”I said.
“I told you we had a mole,they stole our proposal sir”she said
“Yes,the stole the proposal we wanted to use for the land contract and now they already got a meeting with the dealers,its over sir cos once the dealers see that proposal they will surely give them the contract not knowing the proposal was stolen.”she said.
“What can we do..what’s next?’I asked almost ruining mad.
“They ALREADY scheduled their meeting in few minutes,its in stars garden”she said
“But that’s an open area call our boys I am coming over”i said
“We tried sir but Mack planned this well..he has too much security and no one is allowed to enter the place”she said
“I just wish it will rain sir,but that’s impossible cos there won’t be rain for 4 weeks..thats more reason why he is having such a meeting roofless”she said
“What if it rains?”i asked
“Oh jeez,the rain will destroy the proposal and when he can’t rewrite or say it with his mouth the dealers will know he is a thief.
If it rains his security will get confused and we cam unsuccessfully penetrate the environment.
If it rains it will give police more time to catch him in the act but the wheather forecast says it Wont rain today,” she said
I dropped the call and grabbed my jacket,I ran into tbe compond.
It took me 5 months to write that proposal I wish wait shreya…she’s the bride to the–
I ran off to the temple on foot leaving even my car behind.
I arrived and the temple was crowded,is there a ritual today.
Everybody stood by the river and watched I decided to watch too.
that was when I saw her shreya..I really have little time but I can’t distract her.
She wore white,is it the only colour she wears.
She was holding a tray wish hand a little fire in it as well as other stuffs.some girl’s stood behind her.i watched quietly as she knelt down on the floor in the water. It wasnt that deep anyways but the water got to her Tommy.
All the other girls in white lifted their trays up and I watched her lift her own up too.that was when She sang out , am I in another world?
I had to look around. She was blessed with the real voice
I recognize her voice my grandmother said only few girls had the voice which can be used to invoke the goddess. she had that voice..so perfect ,killing. .draining. her long hair sank deep in the water and As she sang.
I noticed a big python which rose up to her shoulders from behind I got scared.
Ever body in the temple bowed their face slightly.
All the other girls in white bowed Down.
Shreya increased the sweetness of her voice making me smile.
The snake danced round her body runing from her tummy to her neck in circular motion and finally it balanced on her shoulders.
That was when the music played..and a crowd of people bowed and danced around.
She stood up and the snake found its way she walked out she is indeed beautiful.she didnt even smile or talk, she walked into the temple and the door was closed.
After a while it was opened she had this stuff like blood all over her.. where she sat with her legs folded.
People touched her feet and blessed themselves… omg.
Soon the crowd cleared so I rushed in and touched her feet
“Why is your heart crying?”she said,without even Looking at me. she saw my face and tears came down her eyes
” Sam”she said
“Shreya I need your help,can you make it–
“Rain?”she asked me
“Yes can u make it rain?”I said
“Go..it will rain before u get there.”she said.
I smiled and rushed off before I could get to work a heavy rain started I smiled..thank you Miss crazy.
I ran off and soon I arrived at work my Secretary came
” sir the rain shortened their meeting so the dealer’s didn’t give them the contract”..
“We moved in with the police and claimed ownership of the proposal”…
“The dealer’s apologized and signed us the deal.”…
She said and i smiled.
” good work “I shouted to my team.
Evening came after some work.my guys and i went off to drink..we need to celebrate the success anyway.It was fun drinking ..it helped me clear my mind on nachari.
We drank quite a lot.
I stood outside the temple.tomorrow is the final day,who will take me away?
samrhat doesnt love me so he can’t marry me…only a husband or family can claim me.
It’s ok,I will serve. samrhat should at least come and tell me how His day went, at least he should say thank you right?
I looked into the ritual water when I saw samrhat coming.
“Shreya..thank you ” he said.
“I want to give you something,” he said
“We can’t stay here..thi is the temple I shouldn’t be with a man”I said.
“I Really want to see you,” He said
Is he drunk he is actting drunk but I follow him because I love him.
I agreed and dragged his hand we walked out of the temple down the garden…to the wild ocean.
We stood facing the water and the moon was bright.
I carefully spread my veil and samrhat sat down with me.
” What did you–
He brought out a necklace it was pretty.
“For you…as appreciation”he said…I smiled.
“But Am not allowed to wear material things “I said
“But I want to give you a gift”he said and smiled ok he’s really drunk.
“I don’t actually–
“I gave her lot of gifts too,i gave nachari so many things but she still cheated on me.
I loved nachari so much and it pains that she did that to me.”he said and His tears streamed down.
my guess was right,a woman broke his heart.
“Samrhat I said
He lifted the necklace again
“Take it ..please”he said.
I took it from him even if I don’t wear it I will keep it.
He suddenly moved closer to me and started looking at me in a different manner.he traced his fingers on mine then lifted my chin up into his hand.
“You are beautiful”he said and my tears fell.
“Samrhat dont–” he gently brushed my hair with his fingers lightly Then ran the finger down to my lips..which he touched softly…oh my.he looked at my lips for a while then he kissed me.
And also removed the veil from my shoulders,the veil which covered my inner wear.
” samrhat please control yourself because I can’t”I said.
” shreya please, am choking to death. I really just …I want you so badly right now..I can’t comtrol it …I don’t know what to do.”he said as his lips met mine again.
Samrhat you are drunk,you don’t love me.
you will ruin my life if you defile me .. why can’t I say no to you