( love,why me?)
By chidinma jerry.
I used my eye to tell Ely what I wanted to tell him and of course he understood
“SHREYA right,what a coincidence”he said and hugged her tight.
“Where did you meet her?”my dad asked.
“Hahaha I once had a fight with her at a supermarket from there we become friends”he said.
My dad nodded.
My mom, cousin and grandmother dragged shreya away.
My brother dragged me into his room and locked the door.
” Sam what are you doing,you know she’s an escort and you want to marry her?”he said
“I love her but I … I just have one question. Uhmm shreya,did you sleep with her?”i asked
“I didn’t,i almost did. It was when Jennie cheated on me so I went out and bought her for the night.she was so much fun we spent time talking and talking we forgot to even have sex..she’s a great girl but Sam… this place is too spiritual. You don’t know how embarrassed shreya will be if the truth comes out.even the priestess who Is supposed to bless your marriage;what if she foresees it..are you really ready for this?”he asked.
” I didn’t meet shreya an escort I was the one who defiled her ely.I love her so much and I decided that I will marry her.. no matter what”I said and he hugged me.
I felt someone at the door and I hastily opened up it was my mother.no God why
“Mom” I said
She angrily walked out so I rushed her
“Mom please don’t tell anybody what you heard..I love shreya”I said
“Sam a prostitute is a prostitute..seems the english word ‘escort’ is confusing you..Why do you want to ruin our reputation?”she asked
“Mom no one knows,I know and I love her that way. if you love me mother please you need to accept shreya”I said
“My son will not end up with a useless woman..do you know how many men she has been with? Sam! are you even thinking? do you think you will be able to trust shreya?
what will your daughter grow to be? think Sam think”she shouted
“Mom please I beg you,if you fail me I will never forgive you.it’s my mistake I want to make it..don’t tell anyone about this ..just keep quiet,after the wedding ritual I will take her away.this is my cross to carry”I said.
She ran out
Thank God I didn’t sleep with Ely.Am so scared.
Now Sam already told his grandma about our wedding.
She already fixed the date.
I miss my nuni,but am scared to visit the temple.
Sam’s mother walked in
“Oh mom”I said.
“Dont call me that,shreya if you love samrhat you need to leave him”she said
“Dont call Me mum,its a curse If you call me mum.” She said.
My tears fell like water.
I felt a blow to my heart.
“If you love yourself you need to leave Sam.What do you want from my son?
Do you even have a womb after all those pills and nonsense?
Are you still good enough to give my son the satisfaction and pleasure he deserves which he should be getting from an undefiled traditional Indian maiden.
You lost your self respect
You are a taboo shreya
You broke the tradition twice.first you got defiled before your wedding night now u are an escort..I curse the day my son met you shreya.
What will you give birth to? Tell me”she shouted.
“Mother…its still Me,me shreya” I said.
“You are a prostitute,you failed as a woman shreya. from a worshipper to a prostitute you cursed yourself.you can never wear the red colour shreya and you won’t wear it in my house.
Only a blind priestess can bless your union to a man because I know the goddess has forsaken you.even the goddess can’t accept you” she said and walked out.she opened the door and I was shocked to see grandmother.
The old woman couldn’t even look at me.
she used her veil to cover her face and eye.
I started crying.
“I need to wash my face for I just met and unpleasant sight…cursed be the day I brought you into my home shreya”She said
She said and rushed out.
Sam I told you love is not enough
Why DiD you bring me here.
Am going..I am going out I can’t stay here.they all hate me.
I will visit my nuni at the temple and leave from there.
Am sorry Sam
I snuck out from the window
and returned to the temple.
.I waited outside for my nuni for hours but no sign of her
I tried walking in but all the temple lights and flames went off so I came back out and the lights came on.
even the goddess is rejecting me.
I sat outside crying,all I could remember was my good old days.
I sat facing the atonement stone in front of the temple I wrapped my hands around the rock in pain.
“I came back,why won’t you forgive me mom”I said in tears
Right from when I was 3 I was introduced to worshiping you..
When I was five I drowned while trying to worship you.
From 10 slept in the water with you
From 14 I worshiped you morning and night.
it is painful that you are watching my life get riuned.
Was I so wrong that you can’t help me.
I devoted my time and my all to you.
Every day I did every ritual to make you happy but you why are you so wicked?
I ran into the water.
“I agree that I was to be your bride water God but why didn’t you become a mortal and marry me.
How dare you punish me
I knelt down in the water.
When I asked for rain it rains
When i asked for storm it stormed.
But when I asked for you I see your shadows,are not human so how will shreya marry you water God.
I was not fully a worshipper yet when I let a man defile me.
I was still in training,i was not fully your wife.
If i ran away after my final ritual as a worshipper then you are right to forsake me but if I left as a trainee then you are fool for punishing me.
Judge me but judge me rightly.
Have mercy upon me ,All I want Is Sam.
I sat down in the water and cried my heart out.
I stayed there till morning came
I had to leave before people see me.
But where do I go to?
I feel so cold.
I walked down and soon I arrived at that spot where Sam defiled me.
I saw a poisonous leaf and plucked it.
I want to die now
Sam’s mother was right, i Am a curse.
I will only cause pain for Sam
I will only ruin his life.
He deserves better.
He deserves a clean traditional Indian girl.
I washed the death leaf in water and ate it
But only one rather 4
I love u
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